Words of Wisdom for the Modern Age

"Glad to meet you," I said. Then, trying to hide my nervousness, I added, "How are you?"
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"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Something must be eating you," he said--proud the way foreigners are when they've mastered a bit of American slang. "You should be able to qualify with your eyes closed."
"Believe me, I know it," I told him--and it felt good to say that to someone.
Words of Wisdom for the Modern Age

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IN This ARTICLE: Wisdom today means something different for the young, modem Western generation.

[1] Wisdom of the ancients always served civilisation well. In the age of the TV sitcom , witty New York repartee and the instant one-liner, Western wisdom in the modern sense can mean something more like the dialogue from an American sitcom. Here's sampling of the some of the wittier one-lines circulating through Western society circles these days:
[2] I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
[3] 1 love deadlines. I especially like the wooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
[4] Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
[5] Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
[6] Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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[7] On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
[8] You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.